


French Fries

by mrgwsm64



Category: McDonaldland, The Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald (Cartoon)
Genre: Attempted Murder, Cannibalism, Clowns, Friends to Enemies, Guilt, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, Murder, Murder Mystery, Slightly Out Of Character, Suicide, ronalds pet name for u is frybaby, this is just me venting, u feed ronald to his friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:07:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29153289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrgwsm64/pseuds/mrgwsm64
Summary: hi!!! this is my first work here on ao3, ive been reading the works on here for years so i decided to dive into the insanity!! pls let me know if u like this story so far,,,,, and ill continue 2 update it! <3 <3 <3
Relationships: Ronald McDonald/Reader
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

Ronald hastily shoved you into the closet of his bedroom, blinded by lust.

"I've wanted this for too long," he said "and now I finally have you... All to myself."

What he didn't know, though, is that you had a different plan in mind.

"Oh, but Ronnie, don't get too ahead of yourself here. We need to go slow." You whined, caressing his hand with your fingertips.

"Ok, ok! We can do that, yes! I'm sorry, fry-baby, I've never gotten this far with anyone before. I'm so glad my first time is with you."

His smile and his puppy dog eyes melted your heart as guilt and regret started filling up inside you. You couldn't stop there, though. All the months of planning and seducing him would have gone to waste.

His eyes mindlessly trailed down your body, taking in every nook and cranny as he'd never seen you that close up before. His body suddenly jolted up once he noticed what you held between your hands.

"What.. What are you doing with that, baby? Wh-Why do you have a KNIFE..?"

Coming closer, you took a deep breath as he shivered and cowered before you.

"Your fear smells so good."

-SLICE-

You covered Ronalds mouth with a quick, harsh move. "Please be quiet. The kids are going to hear us."

Sobbing, he ripped your hand from his mouth and yelped.

"How could you do this to me? Who are you? You aren't my fry-baby! Get away from me or I'll- gaAAHhh"

Your knife plunged into his warm, gooey innards with another slick move. "I can't wait to taste you."

Your hands cupped his intestines. They felt so warm like a hot water bottle. Was Ronald even really human? His guts had the infatuating scent of french fries and chicken nuggets, you wondered if they tasted like them too. You didn't bother wondering, though, as you gobbled up his insides. He screamed and thrashed around in agony beneath you. God, they DID taste just like french fries. And his liver tasted like chicken nuggets.

His blood was like a slightly thinner version of barbecue sauce, and it was absolutely amazing.

You noticed that, around half way into your feast, Ronald had stopped screaming and he blacked out. You were thankful that you didn't have to cover his mouth, but you were in a huff that he couldn't witness your invasion of his body. You laid a gentle kiss on his cheek and wrapped up for the day.

\-------------------------------

"Hey, pal! What'cha got there?" Asked the Hamburglar as you passed him on the street. You were carrying a huge duffel bag, in which Ronalds body was stuffed into.

"Oh, nothing. Just some clothes I'm taking back from the dry cleaners. See, my washing machine broke and I'm saving up for a new one.." You pouted.

"I'm sorry about that.. Need help?" He grinned as he showed off his pathetic little baby muscles.

"Haha, it's ok, Hammy. Thank you, though!"

"I see... Catch you later then!" He waved and you waved back. Proud of your performance, you skipped along the walkways leading to your townhouse. McDonaldland was actually a very nice place to stay, extremely low crime rate and the kindest neighbours you could imagine! You pondered why it wasn't as popular as NYC.

-click-

You unlocked your front door and dragged the bag inside. "Huff, that was a workout, right, Ronnie?"

Setting the bag onto your main kitchen table, you went to fetch a recipe book.

"Lasagne!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! this is my first work here on ao3, ive been reading the works on here for years so i decided to dive into the insanity!! pls let me know if u like this story so far,,,,, and ill continue 2 update it! <3 <3 <3


	2. Chapter 2

The pot was boiling on the stove as you hummed in content, Ronald’s lifeless corpse sat next to you on the kitchen table. You were sharpening your best knife in preparation of the skinning.  
‘Such a beautiful man,’ you thought. ‘he’s all mine.’  
With a grin and a hum, you stuck the knife under the skin of Ronnie’s face, near his temple. You traced the contours of his face and neck, and peeled the skin back. His flesh and blood was the most glorious shade of crimson, and it brought you intense delight. With your finger dipping into his blood, you tasted the familiar barbecue taste again, building up excitement for the meal you were going to share with your McDonaldland friends later.

An hour or so later you were almost done preparing! All of your clown friend’s porcelain white skin was laying on the ground beside you, and his remaining meat was ground up in the pot. Flavoursome sauces danced around his sweet, tender beefy flesh, merging flavours and pushing an extraordinarily mouthwatering aroma into the kitchen air. With a drawn out inhale, you basked in the glory before deciding to get dressed. Gorgeous people simply cannot be suspicious!

—KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK—

After you got ready, you cautiously opened your door. Some friendly faces greeted you with large, happy smiles, “Oh! Hello everyone! I wasn’t expecting you to be so early, why don’t you all sit down whilst I get everything ready.” You beamed as your colourful pals made their way into the dining room.  
Hamburglar, Birdie, Grimace and Tika sat down at the table, with Sundae trailing behind them. They were all decked out in their finest clothes, except from sundae who donned a black velvety collar.  
“Am I overdressed? I feel like I’m overdressed.” Asked Birdie under her breath.  
“You’re fine, Birdie! You all look wonderful, thank you for coming tonight.” You said with a soft smile as you brought over a few plates of the Ronald lasagne.  
“Woow… That looks great! You didn’t have to do all that for us!” Hamburglar exclaimed.  
“It smells beautiful!” Sighed Tika.  
“D’uhh, yummy!” Grimace chimed in.  
You chuckled in delight at the sight of your friend’s joy. “Birdie, Sundae, I’ll be right back with yours. Stay put, ok?”  
“Ok!”  
Once you returned with Birdie and Sundae’s meals, Grimace glanced around the room for a moment before turning his gaze to you. “D’uhh, where’s Ronald? I haven’t seen him in forever!”  
“It’s been a day, Grimace,” Sundae rolled his eyes “But I haven’t seen him either. He’s probably busy, being in charge of McDonaldland isn’t easy, you know.”  
“I did invite him. Hopefully we’ll see him soon.” You replied quietly.  
“I’m sure he’s ok. He’s Ronald McDonald, remember! He’s magic!” Said Tika.  
Hamburglar giggled, “She’s right, now let’s eat!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sory that this chapter was so short.......... leme know if u want more! next chap will be much longer i promise <3 <3


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